Pillow Talk

The G-Spot

There is so much sexual activity being generated in Pattaya that if the energy could be stored in a generator it would supply electricity for the whole continent. Although it isn’t talked about much especially in the more conservative club circles, the fact is that sex and everything that comes with it, i.e. house construction, automobiles and mobiles being sold etc. directly and indirectly impacts the Thai economy in a major way. So when you really get down to it, there’s nothing wrong about speaking openly about those things relative to enjoyment as long as we keep things in perspective. If you are a Foreigner living or taking holiday here, it’s important to remember we are all just Guests here and Thai people deserve our respect. It is with that main focus that I submit this story. Although much of this information was sourced through the Internet, being a woman myself, I can tell you that I have always respected a man who “goes the extra mile” to understand those things that give enjoyment and pleasure to a woman. When I asked my mother about this subject of the G Spot, she really did not have any personal information on the subject. Whether you are a man wanting to feel like a superstar to his Thai woman or a woman wanting to know more about the subject, I hope you find the information interesting.

What is the G Spot?

The g spot was named for the German physician Ernst Grafenberg who first described "an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation."

By all non-medical accounts the g spot is just that. It isn’t a specific “spot” as much as it is an area that responds to stimulation. There are a variety of different theories as to what the g spot is and why it might feel good.

One line of thinking is that the g spot is better described as the female prostate gland, and that like the male prostate it is sensitive to pressure and stimulation. Researchers have also noted that stimulating this area (called the anterior wall, but it is the side nearest your belly button) is likely also stimulating the internal clitoral body and the urethra, both of which are also sensitive to stimulation and can be the sources of great sexual excitement.

For some women the g spot is an area that can bring deep and intense orgasms.

Researchers have looked at the female sexual anatomy and sexual response as a result of what could be called g spot stimulation, and discovered that there is far more going on than traditional medical texts would suggest. These researchers have found and described several structures being called the female prostate, and have observed female sexual response during stimulation of specific areas, which are commonly known as the g spot.

Given that what most people mean when they say “g spot” is an area on the front wall of the vagina about 1/3 of the way up that many women like to have stimulated, I would say that yes, there is a g spot.

But the g spot definitely is not a “magic button” that is just waiting to be pressed and will bring forth mind blowing orgasms. It is just another part of the body that some people find stimulating, and others don’t.

If you are wondering why we can’t just all get a long, and you’re hoping for a point of mutual agreement, you may find it in terms like the female prostate and the urethral sponge. The urethral sponge, at least, is an accepted anatomical term, and the female prostate may soon also become an agreed upon term. Whether these areas are the site of sexual sensitivity, whether they are involved in the experience of female ejaculation, may always be a contention, but most people seem to agree that at least the anatomical structures exist, and we can go visit them when we like.

As a sex educator my interest is less in the debate (although it can make for amusing reading) and more in the way that talk of the g spot impacts our sexuality, what we do sexually, what we strive for, the pressures we put on ourselves, and the ways we choose to explore different kinds of sexual responses.

How To Find Your G-Spot

The debate over the g-spot seems to never end. Does it exist, is it important, should it be talked about, does it have any usefulness? Definitive answers are rare, so while the experts debate, why not do your own research, and get to the heart (or would it be gheart) of the matter. Many women can stimulate their g-spot using their fingers. Some people will find it easier using a toy that is curved, either a dildo or a vibrator.

Time Required: You might find your g-spot immediately, or it could take several attempts. Don't pressure yourself.

Here's How:

Avoid performance pressure about the "magic spot".
People can become fixated on achieving a sexual goal (multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm, g-spot orgasms) One thing I can promise is that this is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of sexual encounter. Remember that sexual exploration is mostly about the journey, not the destination (although the destination is better than most, I’ll agree). Try not to make this another notch in your “sexually self-actualized” belt.

Turn yourself on.
Any homework that starts with this is bound to be somewhat fruitful. The spongy area around the g-spot gets engorged with blood when you’re sexually aroused, so it is much easier to find and feel when you’re turned on.

Get comfortable and find the g-spot area.
Lie on your back, squat, or lie on your stomach. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger inside your vagina (use lube if you’re feeling a little dry), crooking it forward in a “come hither” motion. When you’re up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of your vagina.

Notice how the g-spot feels.
The texture of the g-spot area will likely be noticeably different from the typically smooth walls of the vagina. When you’re aroused it can expand, so feel it at different times during your arousal to get familiar with its contours and sensitivity. The g-spot responds to pressure, so press down and pull forward using that "come hither" motion with your fingers.

Explore the g-spot with toys.
For some it can be awkward to stimulate the g-spot by hand. A g-spot vibrator or dildo can be a great helper in this. Apply a little lube to your toy, and insert it with the tip (if it’s curved) pointing up toward the top wall of your vagina. Work it in slowly, far enough (a couple of inches) so the tip is pressing against your g-spot.

Experiment with pressure and motion.
Some women will find pressure against the g-spot pleasurable, some women like the feeling vibration when a toy is pressing against the g-spot. Experiment and see if either feels good for you. For most women, the g-spot responds to firm pressure. In the beginning, use your toy as if you were trying to scratch an itch—don’t pull the toy all the way out, but use short strokes, applying firm pressure, against the g-spot.

Vary the movements.
A circular or back-and-forth motion may be necessary to get you started, but you might soon graduate to a more vigorous thrusting. If you’ve got a vibrator, try playing with the vibrations both on and off to see which you like better.

Add clitoral stimulation to g-spot play.
You’ll know you’re hitting the spot as you feel tingly sensations, the urge to pee, and an overall elevation in your arousal. When you feel the urge to come, stimulate your clitoris using your favorite method. Keep stroking your g-spot.

Let go.
With continued stimulation, you’ll eventually feel a sensation much like having to pee. This can be quite disconcerting at first, and has probably led plenty of women to abandon the process, but if you stick with it you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise. You may or may not ejaculate, but ejaculation is perfectly normal (and it's not urine).

If you don’t at first orgasm, try try again. It can take several practice sessions before you notice any build up. Try varying your position, using a different toy, experimenting with breathing and kegel exercises (to strengthen your PC muscle), or having a partner help you. Because the g-spot is most responsive when aroused, you may also want to try stimulating it after you’ve had an orgasm.

Remember the ear lobe.
Experimenting with the g-spot can be fun, and you never know what you’ll learn in the process. But try not to get hung up on this being a mind-blowing experience. If you’re playing around and it’s not doing anything for you, try something else, and know that there is nothing wrong with you, and what turns us all on is incredibly individual and unique.